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[Johnny would bet a good chunk of eddies that V is purposefully being a pain in the ass.]

Only two things I can think of that have to do with you, bad, and late at night: holding your liquor or that sorry attempt at playing music.

That last one might actually have been so bad I can’t talk about it, so yeah, you might be right.

[ It'd be a solid wager. ]

Okay yeah it's that

Wanted to apologize. I do wanna learn

[ To hold his liquor or how to play music? Who knows. Probably both. ]

Yeah? Which one? Would call you a lost cause where both are concerned. As I recall, I remember saying I don’t like repeating myself.

‘Course maybe that’s all a blur to you.

I want to learn how to play. Think booze is always gonna fuck me up

But I know I can learn how to play guitar if you show me

You mind repeating yourself this one time?

Depends. What’s in it for me?

[Ah, yes. His turn to be difficult.]

[ Of course. Wouldn't be a Johnny conversation without him being so Johnny about shit. ]

Whatever warm happy feeling you were chasing last time you tried

[ Which he knows isn't gonna work. ]

What do you want?

Chasing after a warm, happy feeling is one of the biggest lies people tell themselves they can do, and therefore the biggest waste of time. Stuff like that’s got an expiry date. Long gone already.

[Also a very Johnny sentiment.]

How about... need you to make some money for me without me even having to lift a finger. Got something in mind, too.

[And no it’s not sex related, dubious as that sounds.]

Right, yeah. Fuck committing, right?

You got a gig lined up or somethin?

See? You get it.

Not so much a gig than I found myself a little up and coming street racing ring. Seems right up your alley. Mine, too. I get to kick back and watch and place my bets, instead of fearing for my life with you behind the wheel and me stuck in your head. Win-win.

What I get is you wouldn't know what the fuck to do with yourself if there wasn't an opportunity to complain

What're you gonna complain about if you're happy?

[ But all that aside... ]

Street racing? You want me to race for you? Jesus, Johnny, that's the most romantic thing I ever heard

[ >) ]

I’ll find something.

[Also what. V why.]

Romantic my ass. I want you to make some money for me, you gonk merc. If you’re gonna try to get out of it by making it weird, it’s not gonna work.

Nothing weird about romance to most people, just you

Anyway you coulda asked me to do anything and instead you found something I fuckin love

[Exactly. Maybe it’s less a chore to hang over his head than Johnny finding something they’d both enjoy. Maybe he’s going soft. Who fucking knows these days.

Either way, like hell if anyone is getting that out of him.]

You’re just a kid. You’ll get it when you’re my age, been through the same shit I have.

So that a “yes” or what?

I saw some of the shit you went though, remember?

[ Admittedly V's not anywhere close to assuming he knows exactly what went down. Hardly like Johnny's the most reliable narrator in the world. ]

Course it's a yes

Been thinkin I need to get a bike or a car to work on

Yeah and you only saw some of the ugly bits and pieces. Should give you an idea of what the rest would’ve been like.

Whatever. You didn’t message me so you could talk romance. Find yourself a junker and pretty her up. I’m sure it’d be more than enough for you to race.

That said, looks like I got myself a new music student.

Know that means you gotta actually tell me bout them?

[ Getting blood from a stone might be easier when all's said and done as soon as conversation ever turns to how Johnny feels about these things. ]

How'd you know I didn't? If anybody needs some I'd nominate you, asshole

But whatever, fine. I'll start looking now

You're probably gonna regret it but I'm gonna try my best this time

Why’s it matter? You wanna hear how messy everything always got? How I perfected the art of using and losing people? Use your imagination. There’s nothing to tell that you couldn’t already guess at.

[Blood from a stone is right.]

I’m gonna choose to ignore that remark and focus on the music. Maybe I will regret it, but if you’re willing to PAY ATTENTION then maybe it’ll be worth it. Get you playing on stage. Kerry’ll shit himself.

Who the fuck taught you that being vulnerable with people you trust is weak? Serious question

[ Seems like V's decided hammering on that stone is worth it... the paying attention part can wait. ]

Putting words in my mouth, V. Said there’s no need to talk about it is all. Just don’t see a point.

[If V’s going to prod, then Johnny’s going to dig his heels in.]

How the fuck did this turn into a cross-examination, huh?

Didn't answer the question. Can't put words in your mouth if you got your own

Unless you're saying you got no problem with being vulnerable

Why's this feeling like a cross examination to ya?

Because you’re riding my ass about it, that’s why.

Christ, is this supposed to be about learning guitar or not? Didn’t know this was gonna to be a psychological deep cut in the making.

If I was riding your ass you'd know about it

And yeah it was about that but now it's not

You're not comfortable talking about shit that's got even a fraction to do with how you feel deep down and I'm asking where you learned that from

And before you say it again cuz I know how you feel about repeating yourself... I'm not putting words in your mouth. I'm telling you what I see. You said you don't see the point talking about something but there's a point, just sounds like a bad excuse to me

Okay, so tell me the fucking point then.

The point is this is what people do when they give a shit about each other

They want to learn and understand. Not like you and me never talked about heavy shit before. Except before you were inside my head and now we don't got the luxury of just knowing shit

[ Sorry, Johnny boy. V's rolling now... ]

I mean fuck, the shit nobody's saying right now is exactly what I'm talking about

You touched me at that party and it's the first time I felt close to whole again for months

And I can imagine what your expression probably looks like right now when you read that but what I'm trying to figure out is why it's probably like that

[Okay. What the fuck? What the fuck. V’s on a roll, tumbling down a direction Johnny isn’t sure where it leads, something nestling uncomfortably in his chest like bramble. He hates uncertainty, hates not knowing exactly what V thinks they’re dancing around. Though the merc brings up their fleeting moment of touch at the party, and maybe that’s part of the answer.

Johnny groans. Then types, a frown on his face.]

So because we shared a mind and a soul means you got some grand privilege to all of my thoughts and feelings now? I’m obligated to answer on command even if I don’t want to? Or don’t have enough time to string my thoughts together before you go on a tangent again? Fuck that.

Hadn’t realized a second of touch was something we weren’t talking about.

[That is only 80 percent true.]

Even so, that surprising to you? Used to be nearly a single person, V, then got torn in two. Still got pieces of each other where they don’t belong. Sync’s gonna be strong. What’s your point?

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