[ The slow realization that he could lie to the man now doesn't make him feel better about anything. Brain swimming in alcohol, he could easily get dragged down under a wave of hopelessness that he can feel brewing at the edges of his mind. More he learns about what happened, more he's feeling like his freedom's still being slowly chipped away at.
But he honestly believes that even if he tried lying, Johnny would know. Spent long enough sharing a brain that Johnny's probably got a better measure of who he is than anybody else ever has. V's open with his feelings and thoughts, for the most part, but nobody knows them as intimately as Johnny does. Raw and unfiltered.
The difference here's that he can feel the solid warmth of Johnny next to him - a physical weight that's undeniably seeping into his conscious mind like a balm, and thinking about Johnny as a balm to anything wrenches a laugh from his lungs. Imagine that.
The exhaustion sweeps in soon after, his body leaning that much more heavily into Johnny's side, craving a connection that feels like it got cut out of him and that he's been privately grieving for these few long days. Maybe Johnny'd be expecting it, the fact that V's chasing after whatever connection he can get. Reaching out with his body where his mind feels so far away. He's always been tactile, and considering this is his first experience of being able to touch Johnny and feel something tangible, it's a wonder he hasn't tried going in for a hug again. ]
What happened to you? After, I mean.
[ The mention of the Crystal Palace is skipped over for now, the urge to find out what became of Johnny too great to ignore. If he went back to his body without Johnny riding along, and thinking about the way he feels now, he can't quite wrap his brain around having the energy to even attempt something so huge. He'd wished so desperately for a good outcome for the both of them. ]
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[ The slow realization that he could lie to the man now doesn't make him feel better about anything. Brain swimming in alcohol, he could easily get dragged down under a wave of hopelessness that he can feel brewing at the edges of his mind. More he learns about what happened, more he's feeling like his freedom's still being slowly chipped away at.
But he honestly believes that even if he tried lying, Johnny would know. Spent long enough sharing a brain that Johnny's probably got a better measure of who he is than anybody else ever has. V's open with his feelings and thoughts, for the most part, but nobody knows them as intimately as Johnny does. Raw and unfiltered.
The difference here's that he can feel the solid warmth of Johnny next to him - a physical weight that's undeniably seeping into his conscious mind like a balm, and thinking about Johnny as a balm to anything wrenches a laugh from his lungs. Imagine that.
The exhaustion sweeps in soon after, his body leaning that much more heavily into Johnny's side, craving a connection that feels like it got cut out of him and that he's been privately grieving for these few long days. Maybe Johnny'd be expecting it, the fact that V's chasing after whatever connection he can get. Reaching out with his body where his mind feels so far away. He's always been tactile, and considering this is his first experience of being able to touch Johnny and feel something tangible, it's a wonder he hasn't tried going in for a hug again. ]
What happened to you? After, I mean.
[ The mention of the Crystal Palace is skipped over for now, the urge to find out what became of Johnny too great to ignore. If he went back to his body without Johnny riding along, and thinking about the way he feels now, he can't quite wrap his brain around having the energy to even attempt something so huge. He'd wished so desperately for a good outcome for the both of them. ]